Short Story - The Bodyguards of Big the Bull

Guards! And Big the Bull was a powerful bull. He was not like the numerous common bulls that roam the earth. He was a special bull – a bull made to rule – a bull to rule without a brain.

Big the Bull’s office was a majestic one. It was called the Armed Forces Headquarters. He adored his chair, for he knew that this was the tool that gave him the stick with which he ruled over the other bulls and frightened them and bowed them and sometimes killed them if they did not walk on the line his masters suggested.

And Big the Bull traveled not in one car but in a dozen armored cars. One day, some common bulls asked him the reason of his traveling with so many cars and bodyguards. He replied that he was doing this to protect them and their families and helping to stabilize carbon dioxide levels.

And what? Big the Bull was on a television channel – Cat News! Why? A letter came to his office threatening him for the protecting business he did.

And Big the Bull was ‘bodyguarded’. A thousand stout and dumb bulls were hurried to his office for protecting him. The bodyguard bulls were ordered to remain always with Big the Bull by another officer bull – the security officer in charge of Big the Bull.

And they followed Big the Bull wherever he went. They did not leave him alone even inside his bathroom when he peed. One was always behind his back, another in front, one stood on his left side, another on his right side, one on top of him, another below him (somehow crouching in the small space between Big the Bull’s polished boots), one on top of his right ear, another on top of his left ear, one stood above his back, another below his stomach, one somehow managed himself below his right nostril, another below his left nostril and the rest followed behind his back.

Cat News flashed this footage of Big the Bull with his bodyguards and praised him for his dexterity in eliminating crime from this world. And the common bulls praised him for his steadfast stand against crime.